This is the amount of time that I have been quarantined due to COVID 19. These past couple of months have felt like I was living in a movie. A scary thriller filmed during the end times.
The only thing that it’s missing is the heartthrob Chad Michael Murray to help get me through this (am I right ladies?!).
That aside, being in isolation (if you can even call it that living in the US) has been such a mental battle. In the beginning, it was great, I got to stay home, thankfully still employed. I was able to relax and work on my tan pretty much all day every day.
But something weird began to happen. Time kept ticking by and yet I felt stuck. Stuck in this moment of time filled with “not able to’s” — not able to hang out with my friends and family, not able to go in public without wearing a mask, not able to go out to eat., etc. With my mind quickly realizing all the activities in my life that have come to a complete halt, I began to panic. Panic at the unknown… panicking thinking “when will life go back to the way it was?”
So, what am I to do?
“I know, I need a routine” that’s it!
A few weeks back I convinced myself that I would get back on a routine. No more working in PJ’s — I had to get up, get dressed, and get ready for the day. Then I would plan out my day with chores and things to keep me busy, a checklist which included: laundry, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, cleaning the kitchen, sweeping, dusting, and well… you get it. Believe it or not, this helped tremendously, and yet, a few days into this new lifestyle, I couldn’t help but still have the feeling of being stuck. Time feels like it’s flying by and what do I have to show for it?
I dove myself in the Word of God, searching for my next step. I would pray and ask God to help guide me in what I was supposed to do next, I needed to keep busy right?
The more and more I began to search after Christ, the more I realized that I did NOT have to keep busy. I did not have to have the next step planned out. I needed to be in the moment, and it was okay if I was resting, as long as I was resting in Him.
As I was talking to one of my girlfriends about all this COVID stuff, she brought up a pastor who was asked, “what do you think of this COVID- 19?”
His response was, “I believe the gods have fallen”.
Think about it for a minute. The gods have fallen. They fell. Sports. Shopping. Social events. Work. All have fallen. As soon as she said that, it clicked for me.
You shall not have any other gods before me. – Exodus 20:3
I spent these past couple of months wondering why I was feeling so lost, and unfortunately, it’s because my earthly gods had fallen.
I never realized how much I put before Christ. What an eye opener… Never have I known all that was prioritized above Him… All the noise that distracted me from Him.
All of this to say, take a moment and ask yourself, what can you go without? Our response should be everything. I should be able to go without socializing, without seeing and spending time with people, without being able to go to church and still be so filled with the Holy Spirit that it doesn’t feel like I’m missing anything!
I am thankful for what God has shown me through this time of social distancing and developing spiritual closeness. I’m excited for what He has to show me next!
Stefani is a 26 year old woman in Christ, doing her best to live each day to His Glory. She is very close to her family and enjoys spending time with those she loves. She is someone who craves adventure and seeks passion in life.
Follow along with her on Instagram at @stefanigarcia