Ah wedding planning.
A season I think so many of us women daydream about.
Prior to the planning, I remember countless hours of prayers for my future spouse and the timing of when he would be revealed to me. Then, all of a sudden, the searching was over. My Jesus loving, patient, this-list-could-go-on-forever, boyfriend became my fiancé. Life as we know it had changed. Wedding planning was added to my repertoire of things to do.
Endless thoughts of venues, photographers, the “vision” of the day, the budget, conversations with parents, conversations with the fiancé, and not to mention all the teeny tiny details! I found myself, as a newly engaged woman, feeling completely overwhelmed. I had bitten off way more than I could chew and was reminded why the Lord had not called me to event planning as a career. Not even 9 days into being an engaged woman I had a thought I could never have imagined:
“Wow. I can’t wait until all of this is behind us.”
Hit the brakes.
I’m sorry, what?
That’s right, friends. I know. I’m still just as shocked as y’all are.
Shortly after that thought so carelessly crossed through my brain, I was talking to one of my best friends – if we’re being honest, I was down right complaining. I essentially went on about this laundry list of things that were overwhelming me and that I felt like I was drowning in. Because she’s such a wonderful friend, she listened. She listened fully and let me get it all out. Then, once I was done ranting and raving her response – boiled down into a few words – was, “I hear you. But remember, this is a blessing, not a burden.”
And boy, did I feel convicted hearing that. I knew what she said was not only out of love, but it was true.
I was looking at the wedding planning process as a burden and not reveling in the sweet, exciting season that I dreamed of growing up. At that moment, I realized that planning this extraordinary day would only come once, and I didn’t want to wish it away!
Granted, like everything, there will be ups and downs. The reality side of Instagram. The nitty-gritty of the glamour and sparkle. But, there will always be sweetness. Sweetness being the magic and excitement in creating something that hasn’t come yet. Sweetness that we find Jesus in the before, the during, and the after! Sweetness that it takes work and a little (sometimes a lot) of unknown during the “process” and “planning” stages but that Jesus is working in those moments, too.
My prayers drastically changed from “Lord, fit all these pieces together” to “Lord, use this time to build our relationship and ENJOY this process.”
Our relationship. Lord, build our relationship during this season of engagement.
My relationship with my fiancé, my relationship with the Lord, my fiancé’s relationship with the Lord. Lord, be there. In all of it.
This may seem like a ridiculous revelation. Or quite frankly, too small of one. Duh, of course the relationship is more important than the wedding. Of course this is a time to grow together.
But during all the other chaos and changes and little wedding things, I had honestly forgotten that my fiancé will only be my fiancé for a season. He will be my husband for life – which is a different article – but how can we grow together in our relationship during this time of engagement?
That said, we still have plenty to figure out and plenty of ways to lean on the Lord as we are still only three weeks into this engagement season. But now we have a new lens. Now, I am overjoyed to embrace all the Lord has in store for us in this remaining season. It’s a constant reminder to me that even in this season He is working and molding my heart. That he is uncovering areas that can be surrendered and grown. That we are always a work in progress but in the hands of the ultimate potter. That He is good and that He is solid ground even when my ground doesn’t feel super solid.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or are also knee-deep in the wedding process, I encourage you to look at the bigger picture. I encourage you to look at what our sweet and sovereign God is trying to stir in your heart.
I encourage you to dig deeper and pray boldly.
I encourage you to surrender what the Lord is telling you to surrender and stop nitpicking the things that you cannot or need not change.
You are so loved, my friend.
Praying for you always.
Jenny Gogol is a native Texan turned Coloradoan with a business degree from Nebraska U. She is now living in Dallas, TX. With an ear to listen and passion for encouragement, Jenny enjoys having deep rooted conversations and speaking words that build others up. Jenny is an avid adventure seeker and Christ follower and finds immense joy on seeing Jesus in the smallest of details.
Follow along with her on Instagram @js.gogs